Phobias

While hanging out at a coffee shop with a friend, I was reading an art magazine when a picture of a poem came to view. The title caught my eyes and i began to read. I even took a picture with my friend's camera. The poem hit me like a thousand knives. It exactly speaks how I feel when I am in a crowd: alone, scared and conscious. Then I thought, maybe I have Agoraphobia. Or fear of open/public places.

The Bus To Nowhere

The Bus To Nowhere
Originally uploaded by CallieDel Boa

I would like to take this! Take me anywhere please! Even if it's to nowhere. Anywhere but here.

Cadernos

Cadernos
Originally uploaded by Golden Greed

Oooh! I love the floral details. I saw one similar yesterday on Victoria Plaza, but I was hesitant to use my mother's money that time. It was around 180 pesos. I'm going back for it though, but I hope it's still there.:)

Gypsy Girl, Serbia

Gypsy Girl, Serbia
Originally uploaded by Radonich Aleksandra

This picture is so lovely and I love her outfit. I interested in the culture of Gypsies and I even thought of becoming one, someday, even for just a a day.

I know deep inside that some of us are Gypsies in one way or another and I am one of them. I love to travel, I'm a deep thinker, and I love visiting thrift bookstores and bookshops.

I've read the book, Witch of Portobello in which the Gypsies were mentioned, and they do all sorts of rituals that takes you to a different kind of dimension. I want to try some of the rituals. I never really finished the book though.

Stained Glass Love

Stained Glass Art

After watching the lovely film, The Last Song with friend of mine, I became interested in learning more about Stained Glass. I think it's such a beautiful art, and I'm thinking of learning how to make it, someday. :>

Brief History:

"The term stained glass can refer to coloured glass as a material or to works made from it. Throughout its thousand-year history, the term has been applied almost exclusively to the windows of churches and other significant buildings. Although traditionally made in flat panels and used as windows, the creations of modern stained glass artists also include three-dimensional structures and sculpture." (Source:Wikipedia)

Morning Poem.

A beautiful picture for a lovely morning, from Cuba Gallery caught me eyes. This is my first morning post since I usually wake up at around noon, so I'm quite impressed. LOL. So here's a treat for everyone. The picture above, in which the girl looks like a Muslim girl wearing a veil (i LOVE it!), and a tinny bitty poem I thought of this morning. Just a random poem, enjoy:

She make mistakes and learn from it.
She make mistakes but she never quits.
She made a choice and never looked back.
Because she knows inside that this is what she wants.


I know it's short and simple, but I hope you it will inspire someone somehow. I'm a frustrated writer, btw. Grrrr. ;-)

Have a lovely Friday morning, early birds! May the cosmic energies be with you through out the day!

Love, Bai.

Micmacs - From the director of Amelie.

I loved his first movie, Amelie. Now I can't wait for this. :)

Hooky

I had a so-so day. O played hooky on my two subjects, ate mami at dencio's and halo-halo at chowking with nanan. While we were on gaisano JS, i saw my former classmate whom I'm not really close to, and he was looking at me with a weird expression on his face. O_O I walked away as fast as I could. I decided to attend my 2nd class, but I was a bit late. I know it wasn't good, but I didn't really feel like coming to class. So I decided to skip. I just hope I won't regret it tomorrow. ^_^

Summersaults. (Warning: Long Post)

It's been a while since I last blogged.

I must say I've been uninspired lately. My heart is doing different kinds of summersaults. Elections are fast approaching and my parents are busy campaigning. I would have come home with my mom, but i have to stay here in Davao for summer class. Lately, I have found out that a great friend died suddenly. It such a tragedy, he is a person, great friend and a great leader. He is a great loss. But he is lucky, because I know he is now with Allah (SWT). I wonder what that feels like - - dying. I wonder what his last thoughts might be? Does he know that his life is ending? Does he feel sad, or happy that he's finally free? I'm scared of death, shitless, like everyone is. But isn't it supposed to be a good thing, too? I mean, were all in life's waiting room waiting for our turn, right? Nauna lang siya.

Anyway, we'll never know when our turn really is. I don't want it to happen to me anytime soon. Not yet. I mean, I've barely accomplished anything in my life. I haven't even fallen in love more than once. Lol. But shouldn't we be really prepared for that? *Sigh*

I've watched this superb film called Waking Life with louciee, and it enlightened me so. I want to experience lucid dreams with people talking about random things. The ending was a bit hanging for me. Did the main character died on his sleep? Nevertheless, it was a breathtaking movie with amazing effects. I'd like to have that lucid dream when I take the sack tonight. :)

Speaking of dreams, I haven't had one since.. a few months ago. I don't know why. The last beautiful dream I had was one with my crush, toot. And in the dream, he was beside me and we're just laying there, then we hugged. Of course, that dream didn't ever came true. LOL. What happened in reality was nothing like in that dream.

Anyway, I've been going on for minutes and I didn't even realize that my post is getting longer. I just have a lot in my mind that i need to let out. I miss some people. I've lost contact with some people who means a lot to me. I haven't gone to the beach, and I don't have extra money for that camera want. I didn't find what i was looking for. This must've been the worst summer of my life, BUT it isn't over yet. Somethings are worth waiting for in the end. Right?

Desert road into the mountains

Desert road into the mountains
Originally uploaded by mkrigsman

I loved this picture of a road leading into mountains.

It completely describes how i feel about life right now. Right now, I'm confused about what I really want in life and where this road in life might take me. But the list I can do is to enjoy the view.

I'm really glad that I have my family and friends to support me, while I take the time and enjoy the ride. I mean, rush things when you are going to get there any way?

The problem is, I don't really know where I'm going. But then again, maybe, that's the beauty of it.

I've read a book called, "Hope For The Flowers" which I borrowed from my uncle and learn a very valuable lesson: To stop crawling to the top like the other crawlers and find nothing up there, but take time and find the butter within you.

I guess the butterfly is waiting somewhere out there, at the end of the road.

Oh my gulay.

I missed the araw ng dabaw and the kabataan parade today. I stayed home whole day, surfing the net, reading, and watching a little TV. I really hate being a GULAY. I didn't even studied for my exam, because other things made my academic books and photocopies less interesting. But I promise I'll make it up tomorrow.

Last night, I watched the Pupil Concert at MTS Matina with my friends. It was soooooooooo cool! I love their songs, Nasaan Ka?, Monoblock, Disconnection Notice, and others that I didn't recognize. At the end of their show, they sang Ehead songs which made the crowd go wild. My heart fell! And guess what their last song was? Prinsesa by The teeth. Oh ,my GULAY. I almost cried. That song means a lot to me.:( It reminds me of high school where I gave my heart away and almost lost my identity. I really, really love this song, though. So old school. :)

What Dreams May Come

A beautiful music poetry by an eco-peace artist, Rosalie Zerrudo.

i need a get away.

time for a tour
Originally uploaded by m o d e

I NEED A GETAWAY.

Some stuff are stressing me out:

1.) SCHOOL.

Obviously, I have to re-take two subjects this summer and 6 back subjects. Sometimes, I wonder why of all the course that I chose to take, I took the one which involves one subject I hate the most: MATH.

2.) MY BROTHER. He is acting so annoying. He keeps screaming, "Stay away from queer people!" a hundred times. What is wrong with him? He is acting so weird. All the time.

3.) My love life. Or the lack of it. (J/K :D)

It's not really significant, but since it's the love month, I'll include it in the list. I feel like everyone has found their "other half" or whatever they call it. I just feel like i'm unlucky when it comes to this. Whenever I like someone, it's either he's too good for me, or not good enough. I think there are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who are lucky in love, and those who are always left with a broken heart.

Why am I the unlucky one?

Anyway, here are my wish list this summer:

1.) Enroll in an art/ painting class.
2.) Get a Driver's license.
3.) Enroll in a summer work shop (acting.hehe)
4.) Continue my piano lessons in Yamaha.
5.) Visit an art gallery (I want to check Ponce Suites)
6.) Visit my home town.
7.) Clear my closet.
8.) Find a job (or maybe start my own business.)
9.) Hit the beach!

10.) Make new friends.
11.) Find love. (I'm not really serious when I wrote this. or maybe I am. But it wont hurt to add it to my wishlist. Hey, might come true after all!)

School's barely over, but here I am, wishing that summer's here. I hope the stars will listen to me this time and give me my most awaited get away (and wish). Meanwhile, I just have to make myself a cup of hot milk read a book. Or whatever it is that girls like me do while waiting for their wishes to come true)

Good night, Angels.

light leaks.

light leaks.
Originally uploaded by gingerlillytea

I love this picture from flickr.


I want to thank my friend Lou giving me my very first Princess Award. YAY.:) It literally made my day. (Thank you Lou! I haven't finished the book you handed me, but I'm working on it ^^)

Anyway, I just want to share a heartfelt song I've heard recently that makes my heart do a flipflop everytime i hear it. It's called Eet, by regina spektor. Enjoy. =)

It's like forgetting the words to your favourite song, you can't believe it, you were always singing along.

Break.

It's my one hour break and i had no sense of direction, so I headed to the nearest net cafe in our school. And i only got ten minutes to type everything i have to say. I hate waking up in Mondays and then getting late for class. I hate it when I don't know where to go, but then, I also find beauty in it. It is when you discover something you don't expect to see. :) I also found a beautiful song, it's called Cotabato, my hometown. Hehe. I miss home already.

Rain, Rain, You're here to stay.

I found this song perfect for today. ^.^


Rainy Days And Mondays
- Carpenters

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.


***

Despite the cold weather and the fact that its a Monday, the rain didn't really get me down. I LOVE cold weather, I just wish someone is there to hold me tight. During my breaks, I stayed in the library, and read some magazines, and finally I borrowed the book called, "To The Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf (I think I need a dictionary when I checked the first pages) Anyway, I wanted to see someone I haven't seen for long. I dreamt of that person last night, and in the dream he was holding me. I don't know what that meant, but the dream felt kind of real.




So much for today. I'm hungry again. Got to grab something to eat ^.^

Catch A Falling Star.

I love this song, It's so optimistic. I loved it when Mia sang this in the movie, "The Princess Diaries." Since then, I also sing this song whenever I feel down and it never fails to make me feel make me feel lighter. I hope you also enjoy this song as much as I do.;)

So...

After 48 years of thinking.. I finally have my official blog! ;) YAY. I was kind of inspired to make a new one, so I can share my thoughts and dreams, and here it is.. Though I don't know how much I'm supposed to share. Haha. It's still under construction. I tell you, I'm not good with words, but I'll do the best I can... For the love of writing, and for something to do on sleepless nights and idle days. haha. So much formy first blog entry. I'll end it here. ttfn ;-)